Guys, can you do it?

I came across this very interesting news. The heading reads "Man chops off his penis"

A man from Egypt has chopped off his own penis because his parents forced him to marry a woman that he does not like . I was like OMG. Of all things, WHY IN THE WORLD would he wanna chop off his own penis. This is something that is irreversible and will affect his whole life. It's not like he can get the world's best super glue and glue the detached penis back to where it belonged.

Well, there are other better things that he could do apart from "that":

1. Run away from home is probably the best thing to do.
2. Slit his own wrist threatening his parents that he'd rather die than marrying the woman.
3. Perhaps get some support from relatives to convince his parents.
4. Kill his parents (jk!)
5. Show bad impressions to the woman and her parents

What's done is done. I feel sorry for him. He's only 25 years old. Guess what? He also mutilated his own testicles. Well, it's just sad.

;;

This is really stupid. Watch it!

BUSH: 10 stupid moments of his life.

10. The trip
9. Not knowing his left from his right hand
8. The butt slap
7. Drinking
6. Cleaning glasses
5. Confused stare
4. Talking about his visit to Africa
3. Helicopter head bump
2. The dog dropped
1. Looking presidential

Funny video

This is super funny! Watch it!

I can only live there in my dreams.

LOOK AT THE PICTURES!

THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL ISN'T IT?

THEY ARE ALL RECLAIMED LAND IN DUBAI.

I WONDER WHO'LL BE LIVING IN BRUNEI IN THE WORLD ISLAND.

LOL.

THE WORLD ISLAND

THE PALM ISLAND

A God damnifying post

EVER WONDER WHY AUSTRALIA IS THE 2ND FATTEST NATION IN THE WORLD?

Well I'ma tell you why!!!

The story goes....

The other day I was trying to apply for a visa.

I thought I had all the DOCUMENTS ready but I realised I still havent had my skills assessed yet.

So I applied online to my assessment authority to assess my skills.

Once I filled in all the details "NECESSARY" for the application,

I proceeded on to the PAYMENT.

Wtf!.............$319!!!!!

A GOD DAMN LETTER FOR $319!

Now now now....Here's the main point.

COME ON! A letter! .............. for 319 bucks!

They really know how to earn our money to buy FOOD!

They charge us so much for this small damn thing and that's why we're feeding them till fat until there is no point of return.




-End of story-




P.S. They EARNED so much from me! They over-bought food in which they are not supposed to consume. They over-ate "Low Fat" ice-creams, over-munched a handful of McD fries at a time, over-ate their 99% FAT FREE spaghetti, over-dipped FAT FREE CRACKERS ON 99% FAT FREE dips, over-fed themselves with irresistably fattening family-sized pizzas and underspent time at the gym.

(OK I know the 99% FAT FREE spaghetti is a bit weird but yeah. /ebrow to y'all!!!!!!!)

Funny chat conversation

I am A. /ebrow
SAI = shit

A: i love cooking ++
B: /ebrow i will finish them
A: even if i cook sai you will also finish? ++
B: =.= sai?? ur sai ka?
A: yes you wanna eat my sai?
B: /...
A: HAHAHAHAHHAHA
B: u eat it first. sai is different story...cannot eat de leh
A: i cook for you...you said you will finish everything i cook ++
B: =.= but.. but...sai leh...u dare to take it meh
A: ok then..nvm
B: u dare to hold it using ur hands? /ebrow imaging how to cook sai
A: no need.
B: hahaha
A: i go toilet lausai on your plate then you eat
B: u go to image it
A: HAHAHAHHAHA
B: =.=wow lau leh. i was from hungry until wanna vomit
A: i cook it inside my stomach, intenstine
B: u try it first..then i eat lor.
A: and straight away serve on the plate
B: watak la...
A: no..it's specially made for you..
B: =.= i don't eat sai. cook other delicious food ma. dun cook sai la.
A: ok loh forget it.
B: =.= ola ola. cook sai la. i will finish them. in the toilet. but u can't see i eat them. /ebrow
A: you must eat in front of me using knife and fork.
B: i just flush them in the toilet bow. =.=. yucks! u...u...
A: cut it nicely using the knife then put it in your mouth using the fork
B: 很恶心拉 (hen er xin la)
A: if very 恶心 (er xin) then dnt eat loh. nvm nvm.
B: u dare to cook...i eat!!!!
A: i dare. why dont dare
B: i go australia end of this year
A: you wanna eat lu rou (a canto dish) or wotever..i cook it and eat it the day before
B: =.=
A: then next day will lausai those lu rou and serve to you on the plate
B: so er xin la
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I cant believe I just said the things I said. =.=

Lamington + sweet chilli

Last week was a friend's birthday.

We had buffet.

Then my friend suggested a game.

If you guys watch Super Trio Show, it was the game where someone loses when they've said the number that appears in the tv.

Whoever lost must eat some shitty food.

I lost the first game and I ate Lamington (which wasn't so bad after all)

So I got the chance to take some shitty food from the buffet for the next loser to eat.

There was once while I was away, everyone made up the whole game to make me lose.

I brought back Lamington coated with sweet chilli.

So this game I was destined to lose.

I had to eat the shitty food that I brought back myself!

Man, LAMINGTON + SWEET CHILLI!

As soon as I put half of it in my mouth, I wanted to puke it out.

In the end, I really did!

I went to the toilet.

When I came out my friend hasn't finished his one bowl of moose since the second game!

So I exchanged with him and he agreed.

I finished up the moose in a few seconds.

So he had no choice but to finish the other half of my Lamington + sweet chilli......

And guess wot?

.
.
.
.

He puked as well!

LOL!

Everyone was laughing like hell.

Big 2, Big Time!!!

I was so damn tired these couple of days.

Been playing mahjong, big 2 and drinking.

Drinking makes my body tire the next day and it makes me wanna sleep as well.

Yesterday I played big 2 with a couple of friends.

Whoever have the most cards must drink water.

10 cards below - 1 glass

10 cards and above - 2 Glasses

13 cards - 3 GLASSES!

LOL~ Insane!

We were so damn full!

Instead of drinking 1 full glass of water,

we drank other alternatives, 1/2 glass of pure spirits, aloe vera and milk.

In the end we all drank water, coz we ran out of alternatives!

Man, I went to the toilet for SO MANY TIMES!!!

I was the one who drank the least.

But still I drank aloooooooot!

A friend who has the best skills in Big 2 lost the most coz he has really bad cards and always got 10 cards and above at end of the game.

In the end, we had to stop the game or eles our kidney's gonna burst!

Piano practical exam

The other day I just had my piano exam.

I was nervous as hell.

LOL

My friends told me they always wore skirts when they had their piano exams.

My piano teacher told me I shouldn't wear jeans.

OK!

So I wore skirt and a tube with a strip going around my neck.

But then it turned out everyone was wearing casual.

They wore jeans and some guys' attire were so scruffy.

Anyways my exam was in a church.

I was very nervous.

I played the first piece and I screwed up.

LOL

My teacher told me to look at the score while playing for the first piece.

But I think I can do it so I have the score put aside.

DAMNATION!

Then the examiner told me to start playing the second piece.

And I requested her to give me 5 seconds to calm down.

LOL

The second piece was alright but I kinda screwed up at the ending part which was expected.

When I was about to start playing the third piece,

the examiner asked me back if I need 5 seconds to calm down.

LOL

Then I was like, "errr, ok"

The third piece was alright.

As for others like sight-reading and aural test, I was ok with them.

The examiner asked me to guess the time signature.

I guessed it wrongly saying it's a duple.

She gave me another chance.

So obviously the answer was quadruple.

Overall, it was a funny experience.

But I must say the grand piano was so damn nice to play on.

It was not too much of a problem for to play on a grand

coz I played it alot in another uni.

Grand pianos are the best!

Comedian

This guy's funny. He broadcasts himself on Youtube to fame. Jessica Alba and Baron Davis actually responded to his staring competition and waste paper basket competition.